Life for me when I was younger could be described as near perfect. I had a loving family, friends, a wonderful school, a roof over my head, and a hot meal every night as well as breakfast and lunch. I was the second oldest of four healthy and happy kids. My parents had stable jobs, and they were able to support us and all of our needs. We were a very active family; always traveling, hiking, and constantly on the move.There was never a weekend where we were just sitting inside watching television. My mom took care of all of our needs; packing our lunches, driving for our carpools, helping with homework, and just being a mom, which she did amazingly. My life was perfect. Until…..
Tragedy struck on August 13th, 2015 when the woman I called Mom for twelve years unexpectedly passed away in the middle of the night, leaving me and my family of six members, now just four distraught children, and one lost father. We were devastated, heartbroken, lost, not knowing if we could do this, much less wondering how we were ever going to do it. All I knew was that I couldn't do it alone. I had to allow my friends and family to help me, especially in a time where I was so low that I had to be forced to eat, and forced to get out of bed.
It has been three years and four months without my best friend, my mom. Not a day passes where I don't think of her, wishing she could be here with us. These 40 months have been filled with a lot of tears, pain, joy, and many mixed emotions. But through it all I have learned so much, not only about myself, but about how underprepared I was, and all of the other friends and family members who were also underprepared for this tragedy. I didn't know how heart wrenching it would be to experience such a loss, much less that of my own mother, the one who has cared for me all my life. And it wasn't just me who didn't know, my dad had no clue how hard it would be to raise four very active children on his own, plus work a full time job, and deal with grief.
We decided to write a book sharing our experiences, and using them as a way to educate others on the importance of grief and how to treat others experiencing it. It is called “There Will Be Brighter Days.” Our first version started out as a simple 10 page “do’s and don'ts,” and it quickly turned into a 124 page book with eight chapters. It is filled with valuable knowledge that could change a person's life; with advice on how to be prepared for loss, how to deal with loss, and how to act around others coping with loss. The part in the book which I have written is called “Through A Child's Eyes” and it is about all of my experiences through everything; what helped me, and what didn't help me. It was very healing to write my part of the book. In a way, it feels as if I was bringing closure and letting go of the burden that weighed down on my shoulders, causing me a lot of pain.
Our book has touched the hearts of about a thousand people so far that have read it. And this book has opened many doors for us to share our story. We have had the privilege of sitting on grief panels to help others, attending charity events for Hospice Austin, and recently being interviewed by two news stations; KXAN NBC, and KEYE CBS Morning News.
We didn't write this book to become famous or to make money from it, rather, we wrote it to help people deal with the pain of loss, and to be better prepared to cope with loss when it happens. We want to prevent people from ever having to experience SO much pain. My hope for the future is that I can share my story with everyone, so that they can learn that they too, can live “Brighter Days” after experiencing loss.